Blog ah blog .. thanks for being company every time I feel down :) Don’t know why also I’d always like to blog things that are not so good. Hahaa! Ah, maybe I just wanna relieve myself, like destressing you know; complain it out :)
Anyway, time’s bad. Past few days have been horrible. Feeling really discouraged and tired, don’t feel like doing anything. Everything seems to stop, every area seems to slow down and not moving forward. Is it so requiring of me or have I elevate myself trying to push things to happen? I started to doubt and ask myself, have I tried too hard? Have I neglected myself? I find it difficult to accept at times when others are enjoying and I’m trying so hard to make things happen. Yes! It is, “what is it to me I follow You right?” I don’t know, I still a human after all and I’ve been holding on to my best know if not I wouldn’t have come this far.
Everything’s falling apart again .. actually I’ve kind of regreted to start Spreeads when I know that I don’t have this capacity now to contain. It’s so hard on me, I just can’t breakthrough not just in mindset but .. I don’t know. it seems like I don’t really enjoy doing what I’m doing now. Frustrating, indeed. Even now going to BB has becoming a burden when it has once my most looking forward activity. Losing heart man! I think it’s also because of knowing that what I’ve done will not mean anything in return, it has once again discouraged me. It’s really sad if you look from a human point of view, the numbers of hours and amount of effort you put in and in the end to receive negligence from them especially those close to your heart. Tzehan ah Tzehan hahaa .. mm but there’s nothin I can do but hope that I’ve leave footprints in his life just like how Mingjing has left it in me. I remembered him more than any leaders or person that have come across my life even those been with me for so long. Gosh I miss him!
Alright. Gonna pick myself up, God You are my source, where can I go from Your presence? I believe You to lead me through for I know it will just like the previous times. I’ll wait on You.
